A Faithful Answer

Last night I was sitting in the dark in a rocking chair on the porch listening to the sound of the village. The moon was bright as I watched the shadows of movement and tried to listen closely to the small voices sharing secrets in Chichewa. I closed my eyes…God You are faithful…

I have graciously said those four words so many times this year. And He is. He is orchestrating a special move of His Spirit in this place. For the past few months my constant prayer for this place is to see God change the lives of these kids from the inside out and that they would respond by sharing this love with everyone they encounter. I desperately want to see them go deeper and grasp the fullness of joy that comes with dwelling with their Redeemer. The past four days God has shown me how He is answering my prayers, and it has absolutely nothing to do with anything I have done. The kids themselves are leading nightly prayer meetings and sharing their testimonies with each other. They have taken the initiative to organize trips to other surrounding villages to go and pray and minister to teenagers and show them the Father’s Love. God is allowing me to participate and witness what He is doing this place. He is faithful!

In the midst of this sweet moment the battle is raging all the more.  A battle that three years ago I refused to listen for, thinking that if I didn’t listen or look then it didn’t exist. Because the truth was I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to realize the reality that so many of my family came from and was constantly surrounded by. I couldn’t imagine the darkness that infuses so much of this culture and tradition. But God has not called me to ignorance but to war. Prayerfully waging war with the God of the angel armies on my side! So as I sat with my eyes closed listening to the sweet sounds of my kids and the horrific sounds of the battle raging around them…I pray with complete confidence in victory.

I am confident in the Father’s love and I am confident that this place will be a place of prayer, joy, and victory. I am confident that this place will be known as a place defined in Kingdom culture. I am confident in a generation of young Malawian boys and girls who choose to live in the Spirit and refuse to succumb to evil because of tradition. I am confident in a God who is able.  

I close my eyes…God You are faithful!

Family.

So I have sat here for entirely too long trying to come up with the right words to communicate the emotions and experiences of this last week of being home in Malawi, and now Im realizing that there is no way for me to accurately tell of the love I have for this place, the joy I have in this place, and the frustration I feel because of this place. Being back here I am filled with so much joy but also I again notice the reason I come and it frustrates me because these people are no longer a mission to me, they are family. And that fact alone makes it harder and harder. The closer I become to these people the more it hurts to accept the phrase "thats just how things are done in Malawi". But even with my frustration my love goes further. This place is home and these people make my heart so happy.

This past several days have been filled with firsts. I somehow gained the title of dental assistant and found myself helping with extractions and fillings and many other disgusting things. For those who don't know me that well, any kind of medical work is not something that I handle very well. But some how God still used that and let me find my place there. I was able to hold babies for mothers who were getting checked, or hands of those who were afraid of this crazy american who wanted to take out their teeth. God allowed me to thrive in an area that I would have run away from if given the option.

After the team headed out I had the opportunity to go visit some of my best friends who are away at boarding school for a few more weeks. I was so happy to be able to surprise them and spend just a few minutes chatting.  This trip was yet another reminder of our differences, and Im working through the emotions that came with that realization.

Overall this past week and a half has reminded me of my ties to this place and given me hope. I am extremely thankful that no matter how many things make me different from these people, the love and bond that we have in our King breaks down every difference and allows me to find myself sitting a room full of singing children in the pitch black dark and Im able to say "this is my family"!